Long Live The Closet Clean Out
Letting go, plum oil, and sappy shopping
I can’t be the only one who has to trick myself into certain domestic responsibilities. Laundry day means listening to my favorite tacky podcast without shame. Tidying the apartment ends in a one person Prince dance party. Cleaning closets is one of these chores. That’s why I hid it inside a date night Trojan horse this weekend. “Let’s go to dinner,” I offered, “and then we can organize closets!” My poor fiancé.
In high school, I hoarded clothes from Goodwill—80s prom dresses, polyester blouses, pant suits, all of it. Falling in love with fashion was as clunky as my first years of dating when I said “yes” to everything. When I moved to New York, I packed only my most treasured pieces into the minivan. By Christmas, I was lugging a checked oversized suitcase full of clothes I never wore back to Iowa. Call it maturation. Call it the rise of the capsule wardrobe’s popularity in 2014. But really, call it my Manhattan dorm room closet. Whatever it was, I learned to live with less.
Cleaning out the closet takes on an emotional tone for those of us who love our clothes. Every piece is like a page (forgive me for this) in the memoir of our lives. Consider all the outfits you’ve changed out of at the last minute before rushing out the door. And think of the ways our clothes hold our memories, hanging there, untouched. It’s a lot! So from one sentimental, sappy shopper to another, here are my tips for a proper closet clean out.
Set the mood
Light a candle. Say a prayer. Imbibe your beverage of choice. Cleaning one’s closet always takes longer and feels more emotional than one expects. It might be a good time for a preemptive snack. Are you listening to ABBA? Put on ABBA. I only advise making this a group activity if you’re marrying a fashion professional (once again, hi Christian) or the other person involved knows their role in the procedure. This is no time for a catch up. You’re both on the clock.
Categorize or die
Dramatic, but now is not the time to be loosey goosey. I organize my closet by type of clothing, not color. Thank you very much to my retail experience at Old Navy in high school for this! Start with dresses, move to athletic wear, then to shorts, etc. As with anything, the largest category goes first. There’s likely the most work to be done in this section anyway. Take everything out, give the closet a solid wipe down, and begin.
Create piles
This is simple, but here’s what works for me. Piles are as follows: Re-shelve (or hang), Donate, Sell, Handoff. The determining factor between donate, sell, and handoff is value—emotional or $$$. I discovered a sheer Dries top I’d never worn in the back of my closet a few months ago. There was a chance I could have sold it, but handing it off to my little sister felt more connective. My only advice here is to follow your first instinct. You always know where something belongs.
Debrief the damage
Everything’s been sorted! Congrats. Here’s the fun part. Drop off your donations. Text your friends pics of the sweaters you’re letting loose. And make the dreaded trek to Buffalo E******* for the $14 cash you deserve. Never accept store credit. Haven’t you seen the Broad City episode? Make notes on any holes in your wardrobe or areas of improvement. For example, if you offloaded multiple tie dye sweatsuits, maybe it’s time to reign in that category.
Archived Outfit
This kind of outfit is the result of a true closet clean out. You remember that sweatshirt you’d had since high school, and seeing it next to a mid-length skirt inspires something. The outfit is greater than the sum of its parts—otherwise straightforward Converse sneakers and a menswear watch, for example. Try double dipping your favorite pieces (the button up you wear to every job interview, your Levi’s from your first breakup) with those special items that feel intimidating. I for one am trying to sport my leather midi skirt more often. Clothes get better with wear. Breaking out of your predictable outfit rut starts with getting familiar with your wardrobe.
Honorable Mentions
Bored on your lunch break? You should be reading One Long River of Song, but if you’re not, get lost in some of my MVP British home tours. This one from Laura Jackson is a dream. This series from Matilda Goad is a personal favorite comfort watch. Rita Konig is queen of all things color.
I teased this on Instagram, but I’m falling back in love with a product I used to worship—Le Prunier’s Plum Beauty Oil. Universality in the beauty landscape is something to be weary of, but when I posted a picture of the bottle, I was shocked at the response. This is a great place to start if you’re curious what face oil can do for you.
Thank you so much for reading. This week, I wrote about Italic. See you next Thursday! x