Clothes have been my favorite form of creative expression since I could dress myself, famously churning through three outfits a day in childhood just for the joy of combination.
Cue parenthood x2 and a body that no longer looks or feels like it ever has. It’s been a funny thing, like feeling lost in a place you used to know by heart.
So this letter struck a chord I needed; A reminder that style is iterative, there is no need to rush in order for that part of my identity to return. Now is the time to listen, discover, and play.
“Feeling lost in a place you used to know by heart” — holy shit, I have never felt so seen…this is exactly it after two babies. IDK whose body this is but I’m just going to wear beautiful flowy dresses until I have enough energy to decide how much work I want to put into “getting my waist back”. Btw my youngest is almost 3. 😅🤷♀️ There’s just so much more meaningful and important shit to do. But the feeling of failure still lingers.
Sorry for this rant, thank you for your perfect words.
This just HIT today. "I started it as a fashion newsletter, not a shopping newsletter." Restraint really is the biggest key to personal style. It's about repetition, getting dressed, using a critical eye about what's already in your wardrobe and only then adding more pieces that help to better tell your style story. Thanks for sharing this!
"Personal style is a lifelong project. And it’s not for everyone! Some people outsource it. Other people study it." -- there is SUCH a joy in studying it. I really hate this idea that "you either have it or you don't." XX
This is perfection; it really is. I have a whole bag of patterned clothes going to The Real Real tomorrow. (Dior!) No more patterns. And I don’t need to buy anything to know that.
Honoured to be mentioned in the same breath as The Talented Mr. Ripley and To Catch a Thief, even more honoured to be presented as an antithesis to shopping <3
"I see so many people wearing them and think to myself, “They look so cool.” And then I don’t do anything about it." RT! when i wait to buy something that's really *me* it also makes it that much more special
I have finally realized this about gardening, lol. Like I can admire that my neighbors have dahlias and roses and fruit trees and outrageously gorgeous peonies and I can appreciate their beauty in someone else’s yard! I don’t feel obligated to buy everything anymore, nor do I have to care for alllll the plants. And my garden doesn’t look quite so chaotically piecemeal. It’s freeing! I don’t have to possess beauty to take delight in it.
I love my friends’ style so I will often want to buy things they might wear. But! Those clothes often don’t suit me even though they would look amazing on them. Your newsletter made me realise, a most likely obvious thing, I can admire the clothes on them and my friends’ style and know it’s not for me. I’m on the life long study and I’ve found as I’ve gotten older and my body changes I want to simplify. I don’t want to be digging around my wardrobe. I just want to get dressed in clothes I feel good in. I’m an op shopper (thrifter) and I’ve learned restraint so not just buy something because it is a brand for example. It must fit, be in good condition and I’ll actually wear it. Love love love your advice. It’s helped me!
This is what I really appreciate about your newsletter. Style over stuff! Being true to you! As you said, something doesn’t become a signature piece if it’s only worn once. I had a bright blue coat in college and would hear all the time from friends that they saw me by this building, when they were on the bus, etc. People knew it was me before they saw my face!
People don’t need to buy a big flower pin or nameplate necklace to have a Carrie Bradshaw signature piece. Just wear things you love often!
Yes to this! Especially "What makes you feel like you." I gravitate back to the same styles and concepts again and again even if the other outliers might have looked "good" simply because some things feel like me and others make me feel like im in a costume
Love this. Literally just said to someone today, “Do I want to buy a barn jacket because I like how they look? Or do I want to buy a barn jacket because everyone else is buying barn jackets?”
This is something I know, but as I flip through sweaters thinking I need that and that and that, it was a great reminder. At 61, I've reinvented myself more times than I can remember. I love where I currently am....a tight, well curated wardrobe built predominantly on my best neutrals and a couple basic colours that I can mix and match. Seriously pared back from wardrobes past. Showing restraint is an ongoing work in progress.
This piece really resonates with me! The distinction between shopping and personal style is so important—one is about consumption, while the other is about self-expression. I love how you highlight restraint and repetition as keys to building a true sense of style. It’s a great reminder that trends will come and go, but knowing what works for you is timeless. Plus, the example of Jane Birkin is spot on—creating a signature look is all about consistency. Thanks for this thoughtful perspective!
Perfectly expressed.
Clothes have been my favorite form of creative expression since I could dress myself, famously churning through three outfits a day in childhood just for the joy of combination.
Cue parenthood x2 and a body that no longer looks or feels like it ever has. It’s been a funny thing, like feeling lost in a place you used to know by heart.
So this letter struck a chord I needed; A reminder that style is iterative, there is no need to rush in order for that part of my identity to return. Now is the time to listen, discover, and play.
Thanks, Erika 🤍🤍
“Feeling lost in a place you used to know by heart” — holy shit, I have never felt so seen…this is exactly it after two babies. IDK whose body this is but I’m just going to wear beautiful flowy dresses until I have enough energy to decide how much work I want to put into “getting my waist back”. Btw my youngest is almost 3. 😅🤷♀️ There’s just so much more meaningful and important shit to do. But the feeling of failure still lingers.
Sorry for this rant, thank you for your perfect words.
thank you for YOURS! I think about this all the time as someone who hopes to have kids. I want to embody the same energy x
<3 I’m so glad.
This just HIT today. "I started it as a fashion newsletter, not a shopping newsletter." Restraint really is the biggest key to personal style. It's about repetition, getting dressed, using a critical eye about what's already in your wardrobe and only then adding more pieces that help to better tell your style story. Thanks for sharing this!
yeppppp so glad this resonated
"Personal style is a lifelong project. And it’s not for everyone! Some people outsource it. Other people study it." -- there is SUCH a joy in studying it. I really hate this idea that "you either have it or you don't." XX
YES! it's like how we all were taught about learning styles as kids
This is perfection; it really is. I have a whole bag of patterned clothes going to The Real Real tomorrow. (Dior!) No more patterns. And I don’t need to buy anything to know that.
bye patterns!!!!
Honoured to be mentioned in the same breath as The Talented Mr. Ripley and To Catch a Thief, even more honoured to be presented as an antithesis to shopping <3
you are my muse!!
Yes! I feel like ‘Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should’ needs to be applied to like…the entire world rn🙂↕️
hahahaha yes
"I see so many people wearing them and think to myself, “They look so cool.” And then I don’t do anything about it." RT! when i wait to buy something that's really *me* it also makes it that much more special
I have finally realized this about gardening, lol. Like I can admire that my neighbors have dahlias and roses and fruit trees and outrageously gorgeous peonies and I can appreciate their beauty in someone else’s yard! I don’t feel obligated to buy everything anymore, nor do I have to care for alllll the plants. And my garden doesn’t look quite so chaotically piecemeal. It’s freeing! I don’t have to possess beauty to take delight in it.
yes!!!
I love my friends’ style so I will often want to buy things they might wear. But! Those clothes often don’t suit me even though they would look amazing on them. Your newsletter made me realise, a most likely obvious thing, I can admire the clothes on them and my friends’ style and know it’s not for me. I’m on the life long study and I’ve found as I’ve gotten older and my body changes I want to simplify. I don’t want to be digging around my wardrobe. I just want to get dressed in clothes I feel good in. I’m an op shopper (thrifter) and I’ve learned restraint so not just buy something because it is a brand for example. It must fit, be in good condition and I’ll actually wear it. Love love love your advice. It’s helped me!
I’m so happy to hear that ❤️❤️
This is such a great essay, thank you! It's very easy to mistake consumerism for fashion these days
<3
This is what I really appreciate about your newsletter. Style over stuff! Being true to you! As you said, something doesn’t become a signature piece if it’s only worn once. I had a bright blue coat in college and would hear all the time from friends that they saw me by this building, when they were on the bus, etc. People knew it was me before they saw my face!
People don’t need to buy a big flower pin or nameplate necklace to have a Carrie Bradshaw signature piece. Just wear things you love often!
i love this and loveeeee bright blue outerwear
Yes to this! Especially "What makes you feel like you." I gravitate back to the same styles and concepts again and again even if the other outliers might have looked "good" simply because some things feel like me and others make me feel like im in a costume
YES!
Love this. Literally just said to someone today, “Do I want to buy a barn jacket because I like how they look? Or do I want to buy a barn jacket because everyone else is buying barn jackets?”
YES!
This is something I know, but as I flip through sweaters thinking I need that and that and that, it was a great reminder. At 61, I've reinvented myself more times than I can remember. I love where I currently am....a tight, well curated wardrobe built predominantly on my best neutrals and a couple basic colours that I can mix and match. Seriously pared back from wardrobes past. Showing restraint is an ongoing work in progress.
This is beautiful ❤️
This piece really resonates with me! The distinction between shopping and personal style is so important—one is about consumption, while the other is about self-expression. I love how you highlight restraint and repetition as keys to building a true sense of style. It’s a great reminder that trends will come and go, but knowing what works for you is timeless. Plus, the example of Jane Birkin is spot on—creating a signature look is all about consistency. Thanks for this thoughtful perspective!
of course! i’m so glad it resonated
This is such good advice!
❤️❤️