Ready To Clean Out Your Closet? Start Here.
Take it from a professional
It’s January. Your closet is starting to get a little snugger than you’d prefer. More than that, the clothes feel like mental fog you’d rather not wade through every morning when it comes time to get dressed. You find yourself wearing the same things over and over any way. When will it end? I have good news and bad news.
Good news. I can help. I’ve assisted countless friends and moms of friends in this exact exercise. My only meltdowns as a child were regarding not being able to decide what to wear to school. Plus, clothes are my job. I’m qualified.
Bad news. Cleaning out your closet is a sisyphean task. I’ll be honest with you. Even the best, most through clean out can’t last forever. But I do have some tips on how to make your hard work last longer. So it’s not that bad.
I’m going to give you the basic run of show, hit a few fact and fiction items, and leave you (hopefully) feeling a little less daunted.
Step 1: You have to be in a good mood
Don’t try to clean out your closet in the midst of a work crisis or while in your luteal phase. Arm yourself! Clear an afternoon. Allot one hour more than you think it will take you. Have ample beverages. And most importantly—break for nothing. This is best completed in one fell swoop.
Step 2: Introvert v. Extrovert
Know yourself. Maybe you need to hire a professional ( I guess I would do this for the right price and a very good matcha latte) or call on a friend or perhaps you, like me, perfer the shrill droning of a podcast at 1.5x instead. Don’t make this harder than it needs to me. Only you know what that means for your personal style of getting shit done.
Step 3: Set an intention
Simply “cleaning out your closet” is not enough. Here are some to choose from—
I’m now a CEO of a publicly traded company and my clothes don’t make me feel like the boss that I am.
Somewhere between college and moving I never really defined what made me feel good. My clothes kind of make me cringe when I put them on. I don’t feel like her anymore!
I moved in with my girlfriend and have to share a closet.
I’m sick of pretending I’m a size smaller than I am and feel determined to dress for the body I have today.
I moved to Buenos Aires. What the hell am I doing with all these puffer vests?
Get specific. Without a thesis, it’s harder to make judgement calls. And don’t worry, like I mentioned, this is not the only closet clean out you’ll ever perform.
Step 4: Organize by category
Take everything out and make piles by categories. Make use of all the space available to you, including hallways, offices, and your bed. We’ll be addressing items one category at a time, no exceptions.
Step 5: Keep. Sell. Donate.
That’s it. There are no other options. If something is a keep, it better have been worn in the last calendar year. If you’re on the fence, it’s a no. If you’re sentimental, put the things you’re unsure about in a box under your bed and set a calendar reminder for one month from now to prove to yourself that you did, in fact, carry on without them.
Selling is a pain. I use The RealReal for anything designer because I can ship the box and be done with it. Everything else, I post on Noihsaf. Trust me—you really only need these two. And maybe Poshmark for last ditch stuff. Donate gently used clothing to those in need in LA at Viva Toro in NY. Anything brand new can be sent here.
Step 6: Put back with care
Here’s the fun part! Notice what needs mending. Make a pile to take to the dry cleaner. Hang everything the same way and fold with a smile on your face. Organization here you come! I like this for over the door and use these hangers for everything. And this is great for small closet people who love pants like I do.
Step 7: Debrief
You did it! Almost! If you’re alone, take out a notebook, and if you’re with a crew, or me, apparently, talk about it. It’s essential to take inventory of your out piles to avoid those mistakes for the next time. This is how you avoid having to do a massive closet clean out every other month.
Fiction: Everyone else has an easy time reselling clothes and it’s only hard for me.
Reselling your clothes SHOULD be hard. It’s not a habit we want to get into. It requires effort that ideally should deter us from consumption as an instinct. The next time you’re spending an hour photographing a pile of blouses to post online, think about what drove you to purchase them in the first place.
Fact: Your basics are not my basics.
Sometimes people feel bad letting go of “good basics.” But if you’re way more likely to wear a pussy bow polka dotted silk blouse than a plain linen button down, that’s your personal style. Don’t be afraid to embrace YOU.
Fiction: But it’s an investment piece!
Don’t make me explain sunk cost fallacy. Unless it is a pristine Chanel bag or archival Galliano, I don’t know what to tell you. Sell it (The RealReal will immediately humble any idea of investment you had) and save for something you love.
Fact: Sentimentality is reason enough. You just have to get creative.
It’s ok to keep an item because it reminds you of something you love. I had my sister’s first pair of Levi’s framed when they were too small. I framed a scarf from my grandma. My mom made us toiletry bags out of one of my dad’s leather jackets. Try using these pieces as a creative starting point instead of letting them gather dust in your closet.
Fiction: I swear this fits me when I’m not on my period.
My personal rule is that this is bull shit. If it doesn’t fit me right now, it’s out. There’s no other way for me to live, as someone who has experienced disordered eating. Being kind of brutal with this rule is actually easier than existing in a grey area.
A few items I lost in past closet clean outs:
Hey! It happens. But eBay is an ocean and it’s all a lesson, baby. I went back into the archive to see what I missed/hadn’t thought about in eight years.
You might not miss these sunglasses, but I do. I bought them at a thrift store with Rubes for $3 or something and lost them on this very day. This is the striped button down I still wear all the time and recommend constantly. These are a more wearable option.
Wait a minute. I hate this whole outfit :) But I still have this Uniqlo heattech turtleneck, naturally.
I’m quite certain an unnamed little sister inherited this cashmere camel coat. You get the Love Story reference, I’m assuming? Lots more where that came from on eBay.
Hmm—happy to report only the book and Turkish towel remain from this “outfit.”
This blazer (I abhor bright pink) was a gift from an older ex-boyfriend who took his ex-girlfriend on a shopping spree that didn’t end well. I wore it once. Sent his this picture. And sent it home with a friend that night. Not all the stories we tell ourselves about clothes are that serious.
Honorable Mentions
Are you in Kansas City? Actually, comment below because we might do something for EV Salon there. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY my cousin/big sister just launched AV Esthetics there and you need a facial from her.
Books I’ve read recently! The Motherload, Meditations For Mortals, and Saving Time.
Book a facial with Kristyn. Come out the other side feeling like a new person.
Two podcast recs: one on wellbeing with my muse (she has no idea) and another featuring the director of Babygirl.
I love these earrings from my very cool friend Kelsey who happens to also be the designer behind Abel Objects.
Thank you for reading Long Live. It means so much to me. You can shop my favs here, follow along on Instagram + Tiktok, and shop my Notion template. Get matched at EV Salon. And if you want to partner on a future Long Live, email evan@communite.co x
I’ve read a LOT of closet clean out “hacks” but this is the only one I care about now
the thesis part is soooooo essential i swear you can’t have a good closet clean out without setting an intention